Will & Sara at McPherson Park in Greenville, SC

As of today Sara and I have been married for 9 years! It’s been a long road and I can’t believe all of the things we’ve seen, said, and done. Some days I feel like we’ve always been together and others it feels like no time at all. One thing is for sure, I am the luckiest guy in the world.

On January, 19th 2001 we piled into Sara’s white 1991 Mitsubishi Montero with Ben Chabot and his then fiance Caitlin and drove to the Little Wedding Chapel in Easley, SC. I remember our family and friends packing into the woefully small chapel and laughing with us through the next 30 minutes of comedy gold.

Highlights:

  • Meeting the minister minutes before the ceremony in his bright yellow plaid suit and matching bowtie; (un)fortunately(?) he wore a robe for the ceremony
  • Sara’s mother thinking that her father had already, “given away the bride,” but not heard it as he is somewhat deaf and whispering very loudly while crouching and tugging on him to sit down
  • Sara and I being forced to stand and bend uncomfortably over the kneeling bench we asked be removed several times. That’ll show them! We’ll stand and bend over you uncomfortably!
  • The operatic rendition of the lords prayer with trademarked country twang played on a cassette deck that had the entire chapel in peals of laughter by the end
  • My botching of my vows, “with this ring I be wed…,” WTF was I thinking?
  • Being trapped with my Grandmother Byrd during the reception who I believe was still convinced that I was either gay or had impregnated Sara and was forced to marry her; I still cannot understand how these conflicting ideas can occupy the same place in anyone’s head…
  • Sara being trapped during the reception with a mutual friend who had been gone all summer and was desperately in love with her
  • Sara’s father is the spitting image of Norm Abrams. I’m not kidding. My Grandfather Wayne is quite the furniture builder and artist and was convinced we had no small celebrity on our hands and felt compelled to introduce himself and discuss his love of the New Yankee Workshop. Both men are slightly hard of hearing so the conversation went something like this:

Grandfather Wayne: “I’m Hugh, Will’s grandfather.”
Sara’s Dad: “No, I’m Sara’s dad, Jerry.”
Grandfather Wayne: “No, I’m Hugh, Will’s grandfather.”
Sara’s Dad: “No, I’m Sara’s dad, Jerry.”

x20 or so until Sara walked up and straightened them out…

  • Being pelted by birdseed so hard it left marks and Sara shaking birdseed out of her over styled hair for about a week after
  • Leaving the wedding with Ben and his fiance to head home for champagne
  • Champagne had been left in the freezer by someone and exploded into champagne slushy
  • Going to Nick’s Tavern to drink with some friends when your freezer is full of champagne slushy
  • Getting almost too drunk to consummate your marriage and finally managing it way too late above the heads of your best friend and his fiance who for some reason were spending the night

More >

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